grown

suffocating
day by day
slowly, surely
into decay

oxygen leaks out
into ether
replaced by toxins
replenished by waste

the existential conundrums
as we hit fan blades
event horizons
in time-space

black holes,
our own egos
coming to pieces
at last

resistance is
relinquished
ripping atoms
in ecstasy

pushed over the edge
of the universal hotbed
we were birthed in
here –

– we are at Home
in this galaxy of lights
glistening at the
far ends of other

wormholes, warm and
whole, suckling at Mother
Milky Way’s breast and bawling,
“but, God! I’m the one

who tries too hard
because I don’t know how to be anything
but an authentic and sincere
sad son of a bitch”

how beautiful it is
to be cared for
and contented,
womb-like

nowhere to go
but to grow
up and out
and into this

Tralalalala

Missed, distracted, biting,
anything to keep from focused action.
Always getting in my own way.
The things I feel I can’t
are exactly what I need.
Exactly what is going to save me.

I wish we didn’t have to worry about money.
That we could just live life,
peaceably in our own way.
Move with the seasons.
Somewhere warm in the winter.
I like a little snow, but

I need a break.
Why am I so stuck on staying here?
Why do I hold so hard to the notion
that stability means staying put
in the same place for a long,
long time?

Let’s make it shine.
I do see a lot of beauty
and opportunity.
And there’s no reason being stable
means being boring.
The last homely house, that’s here.

Full of music and
healthy, hearty meals.
Movies, books, games.
Storytelling and dreams.
Relaxation, contemplation.
A meditative retreat.

Cozy. Our cocoon.
Shelter for wandering souls.
They may not be lost,
only in need of watering.
And when our wanderlust strikes?
We take off, too.

The mountains and beaches,
surfing and hiking,
the beauty of fresh fruits, smoking trees,
forgetting what I came here to say, and
the road trips as the
highway stretches ahead.

I have been praying and looking,
but have truly not knocked at the door.
What, did I expect my dream job
to land in my lap? Well, yes. Sort of.
That would be nice, actually.
And in a way, it already has…