grown

suffocating
day by day
slowly, surely
into decay

oxygen leaks out
into ether
replaced by toxins
replenished by waste

the existential conundrums
as we hit fan blades
event horizons
in time-space

black holes,
our own egos
coming to pieces
at聽last

resistance is
relinquished
ripping atoms
in ecstasy

pushed over the edge
of the universal hotbed
we were birthed in
here –

– we are at Home
in this galaxy of lights
glistening at the
far ends of other

wormholes, warm and
whole, suckling at Mother
Milky Way’s breast and bawling,
“but, God! I’m the one

who tries too hard
because I don’t know how to be anything
but an authentic and sincere
sad son of a bitch”

how beautiful it is
to be cared for
and contented,
womb-like

nowhere to go
but to grow
up and out
and into this

La-Di-Da

(I’ll do this now, no delay.)

I want an escape from reality.
Alter me, remove me聽from the current,
it’s an illusion. But, still, still,

I am always here, now.
So I guess I’ll just keep writing.
Biting off more than I can chew.

Always been chasing that dream,
this is where I’m supposed to be.

(This is the only work
I know how to do.)

Morning pages by morning light,
woke up at five and couldn’t go back to sleep.
Maybe this is a good routine.

(I am strong. I am full of energy.
I can not let pain define me.)

I am not apart from all things,
I am a part of all beings.
And when I remember that,
and live accordingly,
it falls into place so easily.

Independence in bloom,
the drive to accomplish
what one
puts their mind to.
I admire that.

(Time to show it.
Brilliant and prolific.

You are a poet, after all.
You know.)

Where did I go wrong?

At every turn
down the side streets
and alleyways I am wont
to pass through

I trusted curiosity
not to lead me astray,

and my heart knew your love.

Maybe that’s enough.

Maybe all we have left
is this one lonely day.

(I love you, I love you,
Thy will be done.
Forever and ever,
Amen, amen, I say to you.

I love you, I love you,
Thy will be done.)