grown

suffocating
day by day
slowly, surely
into decay

oxygen leaks out
into ether
replaced by toxins
replenished by waste

the existential conundrums
as we hit fan blades
event horizons
in time-space

black holes,
our own egos
coming to pieces
at last

resistance is
relinquished
ripping atoms
in ecstasy

pushed over the edge
of the universal hotbed
we were birthed in
here –

– we are at Home
in this galaxy of lights
glistening at the
far ends of other

wormholes, warm and
whole, suckling at Mother
Milky Way’s breast and bawling,
“but, God! I’m the one

who tries too hard
because I don’t know how to be anything
but an authentic and sincere
sad son of a bitch”

how beautiful it is
to be cared for
and contented,
womb-like

nowhere to go
but to grow
up and out
and into this

Phaser Effect

Each limb tied down
A different rabbit hole,
Converging even horizons
Tearing apart each
And every atom,
Nucleus by nucleus,
Until I have nothing left.
Spread too thin
In my divergent interests,
They say not to put
All your eggs in one
Basket, but truely
The cataclysm necessary
For creative birth
Can only be found
By going over the edge,
Head over heels,
Only then will endeavors
And success be wed.
I am scared of my own
Potential for prolificness,
Preferring to stay
In the shadows, immersed
In my inner work,
Germinating my own rebirth.
I hold myself back
Because I’m afraid I’m
Not ready for this world,
Or, that this world is
Not ready for me.
I’m afraid to just be.
Everything I postulate
Lies in wait
Of the day
I break through
My self-imposed
Imposter phase.