grown

suffocating
day by day
slowly, surely
into decay

oxygen leaks out
into ether
replaced by toxins
replenished by waste

the existential conundrums
as we hit fan blades
event horizons
in time-space

black holes,
our own egos
coming to pieces
at聽last

resistance is
relinquished
ripping atoms
in ecstasy

pushed over the edge
of the universal hotbed
we were birthed in
here –

– we are at Home
in this galaxy of lights
glistening at the
far ends of other

wormholes, warm and
whole, suckling at Mother
Milky Way’s breast and bawling,
“but, God! I’m the one

who tries too hard
because I don’t know how to be anything
but an authentic and sincere
sad son of a bitch”

how beautiful it is
to be cared for
and contented,
womb-like

nowhere to go
but to grow
up and out
and into this

I liked it better

But now, I feel uneasy
More flow this week
Dislodged all over my life
The pieces unstuck

Plaque from arteries
And it feels funny
And I wonder if my
Heart and lungs and liver and kidneys

And brain are up to the task
Of clearing it all out.
I’m surprised
About the mundane dishes and cleaning.

I, of the small moments,
Have beautiful times
With the sunlight around
My neighborhood.

On a nice walk he
Apologized for meaning
He loves me all the time.
And we love to be cut

At times, stop complaining.
Look, reason makes me feel weird.
Draw me in, show me
Creations’ good quality paper and frames

And be seen and appreciated
Obviously magnetic and stuck
Blacked-out crying
Festivals of the sick and running away

And me? I waste my house,
So stupid. Defeated. I don’t even
Know how to move forward.
Reading my horoscope every day

Like it’s going to tell me
What to do. Where to act?
I’m sure. It has clues.
But I still have lots of work to do.