Consumer:

You hold no

redemptive values

for cash or credit.

Congratulations!

An Internet original!

Sweepstakes subject to

altered and duplicitous

copies of your reproductive

transfers.

You will be traded, sold,

auctioned, exchanged,

and prohibited

through our restrictive tax law.

Purchase that for your pipe

if you wish to smoke it.

Compliance constitutes fraud.

Virginity is only valid

in directions followed exactly.

The eligibility of these

Official Rules

expire in the void.

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