holding space

writing
seems like the obvious answer
but it can be a cancer.
i’ve identified with it for so long,
used up all my creative juices,
wrung my soul out
and left it to dry
like stained panties
outdoors
on the laundry line.
my neighbors have inadvertently seen
my deepest secrets
due to my
carelessness with which
i have been so open,

trusting,

vulnerable.

what are my options?
lock-down, nothing is public anymore.
deletion, letting go of an imaginary
rock i had chained my ego to. (jesus!)
ambiguity, let this white tattered flag
keep wavering in the wind,
assured it will eventually find the way to sea,
beat up against the shore
a few too many times,
leaving it for dead,
as all things must peter out,

wither,

pass on.

we always end at home.

i know i can do something wonderful.
i was meant for something big like this.
i grow larger, ever expanding,
holding the spaces together with translucent cellulose tape.
just another vessel,
fill me up,
take me for a spin.
all i ever wanted is to see a smile
on your face.
that’s the big news, dude.
it doesn’t get much bigger than that.

quiet, now.
dance patiently
and watch the grins
tug at the corners of their mouths.
keep moving,
this is your life’s tempo,
a bit slower, maybe,
but what are you comparing it to?
there is no comparison for you!
feel free to look back
as you swirl on by,
but don’t linger,
there is no use in it.
do what you do,
let the others label it what they will.
(and they will, they always will.)

even stars burn out
and fade into obscurity.
perhaps the obscure
are the real celebrity here.

are you taking notes yet?
this will be on the final exam.

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