i am not here anymore

i watched myself love
and break my own heart
and grow up and out
of the slick green soap
surrounding my organs.

i’m not here anymore.
how long have i been
purposely removing myself
from these surroundings?
fade and fade into the mass
of shapes and colors.
stare into the sun,
close your eyes tight,
see geometry appear in darkness.
(what does this signify?)

these are his things.
my only contribution is
that which i choose to omit.
where did the life
that once fit in a backpack
sulk off to?

i won’t do it.
i’d rather leave myself behind
than leave his side.
what does it all mean?

i am either very strong or very weak.

the shadow of a mangy dog
has been following me for days.

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